A Hard Day In Town
So, we were in town some today. The kids were great…it was the other folks who encouraged me to stumble. Father saved the day just before I blew my testimony. He’s good that way. I submit this not as an example of righteousness, but as proof (only those who do not know me in ‘Real Life’ need this) that we all fall short. Even then is Father faithful to intervene.
Minimum Wage Cashier: “Wowee!. How many you got there? Y’all trying to catch up with them folks with, what is it, fourteen? ”
Me (on the inside): “No, but maybe I can raise enough voters to outnumber folks like you. I have a long way to go based on how many times I’ve heard that statement just this week.”
Me (on the outside): “No,Ma’am, but those folks sure are blessed. Aren’t they?“…while smiling and shaking my head, ‘Yes’.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Navel-Pierced Goth Girl passer-by: “Ick. I’m glad it’s you and not me.”
Me (on the inside): gritting teeth…”Honey-Child….me, too. Me. Too.”
Me (on the outside): Smiling satisfactorily and looking at my brood….”Thank you, Sweetie, I am, too.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Complete stranger: “Don’t you know what causes that?”
Me (on the inside): “Sure, I went to public school. I was taught it by complete strangers when I was nine, just like everybody else.”
Me (on the outside): Forcing myself into a beaming smile….”Sure…and I know WHO causes it as well. Isn’t the Lord GOOD to have blessed us with each of these children?”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Smart Aleck Complete Stranger: ” Don’t you guys have a TV?” (inferring that the only two activities in all of life are watching TV or procreating) …with a doofus, proud-of-himself chuckle.
Me (on the inside): ” Father, remind me again why it is inappropriate to smack his saucy face?”
Me (on the outside): Looking puzzled and walking away…”I’m surprised that someone would rather watch TV.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Upon seeing an acquaintance at the store, he replays his conversation with one of our Smart Aleck relatives…
Acquaintance: “So, how many kids have Phil and Julie got now?”
Relative: “I don’t know…I haven’t seen them in a few days.” (cue the uproarious laughter here)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sweet Old Lady Complete Stranger: “Oh! Are they all yours? How wonderful! You are so blessed…I was one of twelve, too.”
Me (on the inside): “Thank you, Father, for your mercy. I really needed this right now.”
Me (on the outside): With a deep sigh and looking visibly relieved…“Yes, the Lord HAS blessed me. And I’m blessed by your comments as well…thank you. Thank you so much.”
Thank you Father…there is a remnant that understands.
Posted: September 24th, 2007 under Seeing The Good, Let's Think About That..., Recently Overheard, Loving My Children, Childbearing, Bla Bla Bla.
Comments: 15
Comments
Comment from Elizabeth
Time: September 24, 2007, 9:50 am
Tried to reach you via email…for some reason that addy is not working today! Just wanted to say I loved your entry today!! And more power to ya…may your quiver be very much fuller!! Blessings!
Comment from Lisa W
Time: September 24, 2007, 10:21 am
Quick witt! Me, I’d just stand there and look at them. When we had R & S that year we had 7 children with a 9 year age span (nobody ever knew that only two of them are my natural children). I got comments like that too. Of course I always thought of a good response when I got home. I usually just gave them a blank stare. But once I asked an individual if they really wanted to know WHY we had so many children and they stammered and said that they really didn’t want to know and apologized for being so rude.
Yes, you both ARE blessed. 
May He bless you with as much as He has intended and may He strengthen you both for the tasks He has in store for you.
You are a blessing to us out here.
Comment from Mommaofmany
Time: September 24, 2007, 10:21 am
We have eight and hear all of those, too. It is hard to keep up a smiling face when surrounded by the idiocy of the world. I do, however, think that the “I don’t know…haven’t seen them for a few days” is rather funny. I haven’t heard that one before! I’m very thankful that all our relatives live far away and the ones we talk with are not critical of us. We have no trouble separating from those people that would say incredibly rude things to the children or ourselves.
Keep looking out for that remnent! We’re out here!
Momma
Comment from Sombra
Time: September 24, 2007, 10:30 am
I must live in a different world.. I’ve got 5 and I rarely get these comments.
Julie, you are VERY blessed. I lost twins this weekend.. my count reads like this, 5 on earth, 7 in heaven.. I am blessed with my 12!! I’m so very blessed!
Comment from oldpathsfamilyfarm
Time: September 24, 2007, 10:47 am
Thanks Elizabeth!
Lisa~ It isn’t a quick wit…it is remembering the answers I came up with when I got home for the *next* time. These are the same few statements we get over…and over…and over…ad nauseum.
Momma~
You’re right…it IS funny…(snicker)…it was just getting *old* that particular day.
Sombra~
We go in waves…we might go several months without a single dumb statement…then ten in-a-row. Go figure.
Oh, Darlin’…I am SO SORRY about your babies! How heartbreaking, my Friend. I am grieving for you…even in your blessedness. Your perspective is as true as it is rare.
Comment from Kristi
Time: September 24, 2007, 11:12 am
Hey Julie, thanks for your honesty. That is brave to put your truethoughts out for all of us to read. I have those same thoughts sometimes.
I would like to think that I have it all figured out, but the truth is I still have a lot of growing up to do, and if I’m honest with myself I’ll admit that my first reaction to those kinds of comments is to get defensive… sometimes it’s seemingly well-meaning comments from our family that hurt the most.
That’s what it comes down to a lot, doesn’t it? We feel hurt. I get really hurt when someone makes a snide remark or makes a bad facial expression….
but remember that God was hurt in this way, too, by how his Son was treated. Oh, how much more it must have hurt him to watch how people misunderstood, mocked, and badmouthed Him because He was the King in human clothing!
Next time you go out - maybe you could do what I used to do in India when I was timdly walking out my door knowing everyone would stare at me…. “Oh, Father, take away my earthly eyes and heart and replace them with yours so that I may see them the way you do…”
Thanks again - so encouraging….
Comment from Kristi
Time: September 24, 2007, 11:14 am
Oh, and doesn’t it just make your heart swell even more for your sweet children when you hear those kinds of things? Funny how God turns that bad into more love!
Comment from Lynne
Time: September 24, 2007, 4:11 pm
Julie,
I am shocked that people say that to you. I grew up in a small family, but there were a lot of Catholic families with lots of kids, and no one every thought twice about it.
I think it is surprising to see a family of 9 now a days, but I can’t imagine why anyone would criticize it.
There is a family a few blocks from us with seven children. I know the grandmother of the 7, and her daughter was adopted. The grandmother is thrilled, and she says her daughter loves children and has always wanted a large family. The kids are all polite and well behaved. The live in a small 3 bedroom home, just like all the large families did when I was growing up.
My brother had a friend from a large, Catholic family of 9 kids. There were 8 boys and 1 girl. The girl had her own very small bedroom. The 8 boys shared the largest bedroom, and the parents had the middle sized bedroom. Their last name was Murda, and you could always tell the Murda boys because they had white paint in their hair. The dad liked to keep their white house freshly painted, and each boy was given one day per week to paint a 2 foot section. So, the boys always had paint in their hair, and their house was always neat and freshly painted. The inside of the house was always very clean and organized, too.
Comment from Amy
Time: September 24, 2007, 4:38 pm
Thanks for the post Julie. So good. It’s really sad the view our society has on children. The deceiver has definitely done with his work in this area. I only have 3 blessings at this point and I already get lots of comments like “oh, you have your hands full”…I got that comment at a dr office recently and I put on my smile and said they are my blessings and amazingly God poured out His grace on my children that day and they behaved like angels (which never happens with my 7 and 3 year olds who are always fueding)
Thanks again for the post
Comment from chrissy
Time: September 24, 2007, 6:52 pm
thanks for dropping by my blog; I hope you enjoyed the little tabernacle videos I love your blog! You seem to be living the farm lifestyle that we dream about - we actually live “in town” and would love to have some acreage some day. God willing, and only if it’s in His plans
God Bless you!
Chrissy
Comment from beth
Time: September 24, 2007, 11:06 pm
I’m sorry you had a rough outing Julie. You know, I think some places must be less accepting of large families than others.
In Austin, we never got any negative comments when we were out and about (although DH WAS offerred the copay to “take care of that problem” at work grrrr).
And here in Maine we get ocassional odd looks, but no one ever says anything more negative than “It looks like you’ve got your hands full”. Now to me, that’s an invitation to start bragging about my wonderful children and my grandaughter.
It would be interesting if we could do a survey and find out which areas of the country were more friendly to big families.
Speaking of that, isn’t it lovely how friendly the Jewish people in Israel have been to the Wallers because of their wonderful, big family?
Shalom,
Beth
Comment from oldpathsfamilyfarm
Time: September 25, 2007, 9:03 am
I’d like to point out that *Kristi*, above, is the designer of my new blog! Didn’t she do a great job? Thanks for the encouragement, Kristi ~ it does make my Momma’s heart swell!
Lynne~
Why would they criticize it? Oh, plenty of reasons. People who have large families are apparently the single cause for global warming, overpopulation, starving children in Africa, a lack of world peace, and a multitude of other major problems. Or so we’ve heard.
Amy~
Funny, isn’t it? We started getting the comments on baby #2. Of course they were rather close together, so that probably ‘helped’. They live up to what we speak about them, don’t they. Wow…a good reminder.
Chrissy~
Welcome! I happen to know of a farm you could buy…bummer that it happens to be in another continent. *wink*
Beth~
Yes! Among the Orthodox Jews, whom the Wallers are ministering to the most, a large family is still considered a MAJOR BLESSING. Sherri in particular is highly esteemed as a Momma-of-many.
Comment from Rosalie
Time: October 6, 2007, 10:15 pm
It’s like they have a book that they follow for all the questions. We have 10 children and hear many of these comments all the time too. Sometimes it’s just too tiring to be witty!
Comment from Crystal Wilson
Time: October 16, 2007, 9:21 pm
Hi! I would love to do the study, but the text portion of your blog cannot be viewed. Is it my computer settings? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks! Crystal
Comment from Trixi
Time: October 27, 2007, 11:28 pm
Julie,
I am appalled that you hear these statements. Just to give you a little encouragement (not that I think you need it) there are those of us who only have a few that would love to be in your shoes. You are doing a great thing raising multitudes of light in a dark world. Thank you.
Blessings,
Trixi
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